The Vatican Dialect

The Vatican Dialect: A Dictionary for moe.rons

This fascinating lingo was initially developed in the late 1990s as a way for moe.tating fans to recognize one another via speech patterns and as a device to separate themselves from the bothersome Fakers. The dialect was named by one of the original users of it, who calls himself Colonel Stilt. Many of Stilt's contemporaries refer to the experience of attending a moe. concert as "Going to Rome" in order to describe their search for enlightenment - which continues to this day.

The language originated in a small town in eastern Connecticut and quickly spread to New York City. In February 1999, a partial record was posted to the moe-L. The editors at moe.Links, however, have been able to obtain a slightly more comprehensive listing. It is important to note that the following is still believed to be incomplete. If you have any words to contribute to the Vatican Dialect, please click here to send an email.

7 - The "sum" of the current moe. drummers; Vinnie = #5 and Jim = #2.

25 - Notation used to record when Vinnie and Jim switch drum kits.
<The SOMP > SDB from 2/6 featured a well received 25.>

45:09 - The length of the "Meat" studio single released by moe. through Sony 550 Music in 1996. This epic version can be alluded to by simply mentioning its track length and offers a basis for comparison to other renditions of Meat. <The Meat from 11-5-98 was fast and furious, but it was no 45:09.>

46:10 - The printed but, in a sense, incorrect length of the "Meat" on the studio single released by moe. through Sony 550 Music in 1996. Used similarly to 45:09. <The Meat from 11-5-98 was fast and furious, but it was no 46:10.>

alsturbation - Word used to describe a repetitive al. jam that may or may not involve him waving the tip of his guitar around in the air in a frenzied manner. Fans sometimes request that al. mix things up by "switching to the left hand for a change."

Assfinger - fan name for the song "Bullet" - aka - That Chuck Tune, New Chuck Tune. Assfinger stuck after a certain member of the band/crew had an interesting romantic encounter one night. The result was someone being called Assfinger. After Rob said it from the stage one night, certain weird fans thought it should stick to Bullet (which was at the time unnamed). Chuck was not happy.

The Backwoods - Upstate New York, where the band members grew up. <We're heading off to the Backwoods to see moe. rock the house in their old hometown.>

BAD - Acronym for Boston Area DAT-heads. This notation is preferred over BAT (i.e. Boston Area Tapers) for several reasons:
        a) People are less likely to confuse this group with the infamous GNATs
        b) It allows Patcher Geeks (see also Fakers), to get in on the regional rivalries
        c) The abbreviation BAT lends itself to the Anti-BAD slogan "Don't Feed the BAT"
        d) The organization's semi-regular newsletter can be called "BAD News"
        e) we can tell people we are BAD - in the Michael Jackson sense of the word (okay,
            okay, maybe this isn't exactly a plus...)

BEEBED - To have been the recipient of an inexplicable occurrence while taping. <You run a tape and think you are recording, get absolute time, etc. only to find out later, when you get home, that the tape is actually blank....you have been BEEBED.>

Boob. - Slang for Rebubula. The power of this epic MOE.TUNE condensed into one word that is short, direct, and to the point. <Nothing makes me happier than a nice Boob. 'Nuff said.>

Castrated Head - A reference to the typical "Head" after its recording for TIN CAN AND CAR TIRES, in that the song lost much of its spacey, exploratory nature.

Crawshawing - The act of constant bitching that moe. isn't playing in your area. < "I'm so fucking sick of hearing people Crawshaw about a lack of moe. shows in their general area.">

The Chuck Zone - 1. The area in front of the left side of the stage (i.e. in front of Chuck) where members of FOC can be found admiring their hero at work. 2. A period of time and space, whether a moe.ment, a segment of a set, or an entire show (or maybe even an entire tour), in which Chuck is especially on fire. See also sparkle. <The second set of the show was all about Mr. Garvey; we were in the Chuck Zone from 'Buster' on.>

The "Carol Wade" - The act of signing posts to the moe.L with random things next to your name in quotes.

don't f*ck with bones. - Good advice for anyone who has just joined the moe. list. Peruse the moe-L archives for a more complete explanation.

East Coast Mama - Any attractive female attending a moe. concert. ECMs are the arch rivals of the Phunky Bitches.

Faker - 1. A so-called "phan" who considers moe. to be of secondary importance. 2. Synonym for Patcher Geek and/or other folks with inferior equipment. <The Fakers at the Hammerstein really annoyed me because they were taking up so much space with their jackets.>

Ferbed - v. Showing anger or disappointment in a show when it doesn't live up to your expectations. Similar to the word miffed. See also Ferberized.

Ferberized - means you no longer are moved musically by moe. and have given up or become disenchanted with them. See also Ferbed.

The Free Paul Factor - This should always be taken into consideration when you are deciding whether or not to attend a moe. show. Keep in mind that the FPF can be good or bad, it all depends on your point of view.

FTP - 1. I won't write too much here, but let's just it involves the Pope ;) 2. The abbreviation can also be used to describe a show, tapes, etc. <These tapes definitely FTP!!>

Friends of Chuck (FOC) - FOC is the abbreviated name for the Chuck Garvey fan club. The FOC are known for being an intractable bunch of drunks who live and die for rock and roll. The FOC are well known for performing rituals that celebrate the Prince of Darkness. <"Bluegrass is for sissies," maintains one FOC.>

Full Meal - This phrase can be used to describe the intensity of certain moe. segues. The slogan may have been derived from a Ball Park Frank advertisement at Yankee stadium. See also Prize. <The Moth > Meat > Brent Black Reprise from the Met Cafe in the spring of '97 is a Full Meal.>

Game Plan - A plan to meet up in order to partake in the use of illegal substances. <"Recreational chemistry - that's the game plan.">

Glitter Bitch - an intrusive, extremely wasted female who is completely unaware of her surroundings. Especially applies to those who remorselessly spill sticky glitter make-up. "That Glitter Bitch was completely gone. When she fell, she was like dead weight and entirely on top of my friend. Has a tendency to giggle "sorry's" and spill huge clumps of sticky glitter all over people."- Bill Warner

JL5- Acronym for Jim Loughlin Five; a group of moe. fans whose mission is to make Jim the honorary- if not permanent- fifth member of the band. <"I will not rest until Jim has an @moe.org email account," says one member of JL5.>

GNAT - Acronym for Greater New York Area Tapers. According to one long time moe-Lister, who will remain anonymous for his own protection, "They just buzz around and drive you insane to the point where you don't know who your patching out of, whether your deck is even running or turned on for that matter."

Go moe.stal - v. To make false, baseless, and otherwise unwarranted accusations against members of the rock and roll band moe., as well as members of the moe-L, while appearing confused and disinterested. Excessively poor grammar is a sign that someone is in this state of mind.

Government Cheese - Common songs that are often unspectacular and overplayed.

Gypsies - Performers of Disco music; as well as a reference to the 4-25-97 Euro-Flo, when the band warns the audience, "don't let the gypsies take you away."

Hapless Victims- 1. This phrase can be used to describe moe. fans in general. <"We are all just Hapless Victims of knowledge and learning and such...">
2. Ticketless moe. fans who come to a sold out show, hoping for a miracle.
3. This phrase can be used to describe one's mental state.

Lame Crash - Term used to describe the short, album-like versions of 'Plane Crash' that were prevalent in the spring of 1998. <The It's Not a Tour is peppered with Lame Crashes.>

Local Hero - A person who provides food or shelter to traveling fans when moe. comes through his or her home town.

Mayor of moe.ville - The random figurehead who is elected every year at moe.down. Usually gains notority through false means.

The moe. List - The electronic mailing list for moe. fans (i.e. moe-Listers). Sometimes abbreviated moe-L. <Members of the moe-L are often in the moe.tation.>

moe.gasm - The "climax" of a moe. experience.

moe.hole - Equivalent of moe-L ass hole (plus it's easier to type). A person who isn't afraid to speak his or her mind, and, in doing so, rocks the boat that is the moe-L and draws lurkers out of the wood-work. Uses sarcasm as an art. This results in complete misunderstanding, outcome is possible flame war.

moe.ment - A reference to any occurrence during a moe. show, especially those that are particularly memorable. <My favorite moe.ments from '99? The break-out of "Farmer Ben" and Sharon and Rob's engagement at Halloween, I'd have to say>.

moe.ron - a diehard moe. fan

moe.shin - v. To spin tapes and then pass them down the line; this word is derived from the word motion. See also shin.

moe.tate - v. To follow the events - both on and off the stage - that affect the rock and roll band moe.. Do not confuse this word with "mutate." To learn about Mutating, please click here

moe.tune - a song by moe. <That's recently become my favorite moe.tune.>

moe.ville - The temporary city that is formed at moe.down every year.

Monkey Boy - Annoying person who yells out songs during concerts. <The Monkey Boy yelling for Mexico should have been thrown out of the concert, and then banned from attending future moe. shows.>

m.wurkers - moe.listers that spend their work day reading the moe-L, posting to all too often and trying
to amuse themselves so that the work day goes by faster. The opposite of lurkers. (Note: the m is silent, and the word is pronounced like "workers." How ironic.) <Those damn m.wurkers!!! I wish they would stop posting so F*&^#!% often and do some work. My mailbox is full...wahhh! wahhh!>

Patcher Geek (PG) - Refers to a person who owns a tape recorder, but must patch into the soundboard or into another person's microphones tape a concert. PGs have a very low status in the Taping Section. Synonyms include "gopher" and "scooter."

Patcher Geek In Training (PGIT) - PGITs occupy the lowest possible rung on the taping ladder. This is one step below a PG and it is usually just a temporary state.

People for a Bigger Rob (PBR) - A group of fans dedicated to supporting the appetite of everyone's favorite bass player. If there are not enough reasons to join, keep in mind that Rob could kick the crap out of Mike Gordon during a street fight. The group's goal is too help Rob stay in peak physical condition. Members and non-members alike can take note of the 2/7/99 Wetlands show, at which Alex Rosenfeld satiated and tempered a hungry, inebriated Rob with Krispy Kreme Donuts.

Pop a Vein - v. 1. To describe al. when he is going off. <The Dr. Graffenberg was so insane that I thought al. was going to Pop a Vein.>
2. To freak out. <Hey dude, don't Pop a Vein, the doors don't open for another hour and a half and the venue is only ten minutes away.>

Prize - This word describes the bonus the audience receives when the band reprises a song that is not usually broken up into two parts. See also Full Meal.

Ronnie - A random moe.ron. Like his father, Randy, Ronnie B. Crisp is the guy who "shows up in the hotel room after the show to drink beer and borrow tapes, who everyone thinks the other guy knows."

St. Louis United Tapers (SLUTs) - These folks have earned the reputation of being the loosest tapers in the section.

Sgt. Goatlips - A name for any overbearing security guard, or an otherwise "evil man."

Sesh - v. To attend the Summer Sessions Tour featuring Galactic, Gov't Mule, moe, and The String Cheese Incident <We are planning on seeing a few Phish shows in July and then we will spend the rest of the summer Seshing.>

Shin - v. To kick down tapes; slang form of the word moe.shin.

Sign of the Three - Gesture given by audience members during 'Farmer Ben' when Ben meets Three-Fingered Gus. The sign is formed by extending your fingers out straight, then curling down the middle finger and using the thumb to keep it in place. The resulting symbol is similar to the one a head-banger might make.

Smoked Meat - The aroma that fills the air after a super-heavy version of "meat" and leaves the audience salivating for another taste. Also referred to as 'smoked ham' or 'smoked bacon.'

Sparkle - v. Used to describe Chuck when he is playing extremely well <The CIA on 2-6 Sparkles.>

Spaz Out - v. To imitate Al <Hey man, it looks like that dude is Spazzing Out. Oh, wait a minute, he is just imitating that guitar guy from moe.>

Strange - A one word description given to a band that relies on its lead guitarist to carry them through nearly every song and writes lyrics that seem to only revolve around love, flowers, and broken hearts.

The Strazza Line - In order to surpass this milestone, a moe. fan must attend more than 75 shows. The benchmark is so named because Mike Strazza played drums for moe. from 7.22.95 to 12.9.95 - a period spanning 75 shows.

Throwin' Horseshoes - Partaking in the use of illegal substances at a moe. concert. <My recollection of the first set is somewhat foggy because we had been throwing horseshoes since the doors opened.>

Vegetarian Meat - a less than spectacular version of "Meat." See also Veggie Burrito.

Veggie Burrito - a less than spectacular version of "Meat." See also Vegetarian Meat.

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